5 reasons we’re glad our dog can’t talk

You’ll always see memes and posts about how owners wish their dog could talk. This got us thinking… what would Reagan actually say? Would she tell her friends about all the weird things she’s caught us doing? Would she scold us for staying out late? Here are our top 5 reasons why we’re glad Rae can’t:

1. The Crap She’s Heard Us Say

Maybe you have a friend who lives for social media, whose posts are always questionable but always worth gasping over. Say you’re sitting at home after work, scrolling Facebook, and you’re all like“Oh my God she did NOT post another selfie!” It’s okay though because the only ears to hear your disbelief are those crimpy, furry ones on the other end of the couch. Then the next day that same friend comes over. Dun, dun, dun… Imagine your pup being like. “Mom, I thought you said Ashley was embarrassing and annoying. Why is she here for dinner?” Yeah. I’m already uncomfortable.


2. The weird things she’s witnessed me doing

Have you heard the phrase “if these walls could talk?” We are starting a new movement to change the phrase to “if this dog could talk.” You know what I mean. You get home from work, kick your pants off, throw your hair up into a high bun that bees might potentially swarm if you step outside. In this state, you avoid the mailman and your own reflection. Maybe you cheat on your health cleanse and sneak some ice cream (still pantless). Maybe you only get off the couch on Sunday to grab more food and change into a new set of pajamas. Are you sensing a theme here? The best part is having your dog to hang around when you’re at your lowest. You don’t care cause she can’t make fun of you. Even though sometimes her judging eyes say it all:


3. She can’t tell me to go away

Okay we know you “aren’t supposed to hug your dog” but are people really strong enough to follow that rule? We’ve tried, we’ve failed. Those faces are too cute to not hug. Sometimes maybe the hug lasts too long, I’ll admit. If she could talk she’d probably be like, “okay mom. That’s enough. Get off me,” and we’d be devastated! But she can’t talk! That’s the beauty of it. She has to just sit there in our loving arms and let us hug and nuzzle for her five minutes too long. Or five hours. It’s been a long week okay…

dog Hug

4. She can’t beg for anything/everything

I think if Reagan was going to talk her first words would be, “you going to finish that?” During dinner. And she’s pretty stubborn and pushy so I feel like she would just continue to badger for food. She’d probably also ask to go to the dog park every hour of every single day. In fact if she learned how to use a cell phone (she hasn’t been able to figure out the touch screen on her iPhone yet) she’d probably call us nonstop and beg us to come home to play with her! And we obviously wouldn’t be able to say NO! What kind of people do you think we are? We’d be forced to come home, cater to her every need, quit our jobs, and lose everything. Do you see where we’re going with this?


5. She communicates in her own, natural ways

The special bond between human and dog comes from that unspoken communication with each other. You learn about your dog’s wants and needs through their body language and habits. You pay attention. You take the time to train and teach them and in return connect with them on a level where words aren’t needed. It didn’t take us long to learn Reagan’s every move. Sometimes she’ll whine at the door and we’ll know she just wants to go outside and play. Other times she’ll whine and we can tell she has to use the bathroom. Without the shortcut of being able to use words to communicate her wants and needs, both parties pay more attention to one another. That unspeakable bond is special in itself and one of the reasons why dog is woman’s best friend!


10 thoughts on “5 reasons we’re glad our dog can’t talk

  1. Kayla Condeni says:

    You guys should read Walking in Circles Before Lying Down by Merrill Markoe. It’s about this woman and her dog that talks to her! It’s pretty funny and an easy read!


  2. Miss Harper Lee says:

    That second picture of Reagan is hilarious. The judgment eye. 🙂 My human mommy’s worst fear ever is for my canine sister and I suddenly to develop the gift of gab . . . so please don’t tell her about this blog, ok? 😉


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